Life was conflicting. All the alcohol, church and backwoods neighbors, created a confusing life. Come to Jesus and daily violence, were family tradition. Wearing beautiful clothes and farm work were contrary concepts. Roadside bus stops gave way to neon signs, in tavern windows. Continue reading Juke Joint Jesus
Tag: dysfunctional family
Life
As a child, whenever my father was unhappy with me, and I would try to explain myself, he would ferociously say that there were no excuses.
I believe there are excuses. Continue reading Life
The Divorce is Final
My road is a gyspy’s ribbon, no longer is hell at one dark window.
I flee from the birds who scavenge, flying low.
Betrayal, and wind in the pines, are no stranger to me. Continue reading The Divorce is Final
Bye – Bye Blair Rd.
“There are poisons that blind you, and poisons that open your eyes.”
A Sprinkle of Childhood
You have one man, with volcanic rage, simmering below the surface of his skin. You have one woman who is iron clad and formidable, prepared to protect the family at all cost. Each has their own story, steeped in alcohol, violence and money. Smiles would turn to grimaces – smile, frown – smile, frown – it was a dodge ball game. You would eventually get slammed.
Then take the kid. Twelve years old, eager to please; anxious to get every detail correct.
The man had given orders, “Go saddle up my horse”. Continue reading A Sprinkle of Childhood
Is it the way in ~ or the way out?
Life can be confusing. I re-play the tapes and ask myself, have I done the right thing? In the end, I let it go. The questions with no definitive answers, become a dark, cavernous maze. It’s a waste of time. Or is it? How do we learn, if we don’t question? Continue reading Is it the way in ~ or the way out?
Salvage
Salvage from the depths of the sea ~ the nadar of my existence.
salvage |ˈsalvij|
verb [ with obj. ]
rescue (a wrecked or disabled ship or its cargo) from loss at sea: an emerald and gold cross was salvaged from the wreck.
• retrieve or preserve (something) from potential loss or adverse circumstances: it was the only crumb of comfort he could salvage from the ordeal.
noun
the rescue of a wrecked or disabled ship or its cargo from loss at sea: [ as modifier ] : a salvage operation was under way.
• the cargo saved from a wrecked or sunken ship: salvage taken from a ship that had sunk in the river.
• the rescue of property or material from potential loss or destruction.
• Law payment made or due to a person who has saved a ship or its cargo.
My mother’s home is being demolitioned. My life was demolitoned years ago. Continue reading Salvage
Worn Out Complaints
My complaints are old and tired, like my favorite hiking shoes. Bought against my sister’s wishes. Now tattered and torn, ripped and unhinged, they are ready for the trash.
Those shoes supported me.
If they don’t work any more ~ toss them.
Mama needs a new pair of shoes.
Family Poem
Nicotine/Jelly Bean~Methadone and Beer
Lying eyes/Sullen mouth
A life that’s full of FEAR
Fresh air and Sunshine
Sparkling Eyes and Smiles
Filled with Grace and Spirit Lead
Who will guide us Through our Trials
The family that prayers together~stays together.
The family that drinks together~stinks together.
*yes, you may quote me on that”
What’s Next?
My interpersonal relationships play themselves out, in repeated fashion.
Therefore, I ask, “What’s the big deal?”
Define family:
For me, an ill-defined problem – Continue reading What’s Next?
Fish Eye Farm 