The flesh has been torn from the bones of my soul
My breath has come up short
Life’s distance in years is a highway
I crawl past an angel wing
The flesh has been torn from the bones of my soul
I exhale
Overcome by guilt and shame
I run to be with others
The flesh has been torn from the bones of my soul
I inhale
I am alone
I fly
I have been forced to live in a technological world for 43 years. It began when I enrolled in college. I took an English Comp and Statistics class. I had to do every thing on the computer. I complied. It was an edit in my life.
One thing always leads to another. Add on take away. That’s editing. When something doesn’t work – change it. If it’s wrong it’s wrong, forever.
It’s survival of the fittest. What makes sense to one person, confuses another. Some people never bother to write a sentence that needs editing. Nor do they think to change their life. To move. To learn new things.
To add to or take away.
That’s editing. My life is full of edits.
3129 Phyllis St.
I travel south
down the river
in the morning
Crackers eat oatmeal for breakfast
Four roses are in the front yard
Saddle soap in the back
I climb
the steps
at noon
Where the crackers meet for lunch
Eat biscuits with gravy
She plays cards with a blind man
They laugh and tell – old stories
The sun follows I-10
and sets
behind Phyllis St.
Ponies walk for miles in circles
Gators mate
Boats float
Flamingos eat shrimp and die
I run
to the streets
in my twilight
Away from the crackers – Oatmeal shrimp – biscuits and gravy
The roses died – the saddle dried
The boat sunk
The blindman got lasix
I survive
Somewhere in the South
I AM A WIDGET/Gallery Lover
My soul is enmeshed with these subjects. Each photo a memory. A person impressed in my being, like words in print. They tell a story. I know these people intimately, as I look at them over and over through the years.
If you are on an iPhone and you tap the horizontal bars in the right corner, my widgets will appear. They are mostly photo galleries. The first is always changing order. The other two are stationary. I recently updated all three. I am sad to say, that it took me two and a half months to follow through with this task.
I am getting back to this writing. Mostly in first person. The snap shot encapsulate my life. And my love of the people that I share this planet with. I am fascinated by people.
My instagram https://www.instagram.com/everydaypaparazza/ has 800 portraits. Check them out. Yes, there is a turtle and a guitar. But most are people. Every day, extraordinary people. That was the purpose of the site. I wanted to link it as a widget in the sidebar but was unsuccessful.
Most of my unsuccessful technical endeavors go by the wayside until I am ready to tackle it.
In the meantime, I browse-look at my photos and read other’s blogs.
I am a happy widget.
As a side note to my sidebar – Many indigenous people do not want their photos taken. They believe their souls will be stolen. I encountered this at The Moon Dance in Costa Rica and with the Mayans in Guatemala. I could have snuck their photos but I backed off.
My soul is entwined.
We are one.
I am on the other side of a rough 4 1/2 years. Two of those years were spent with my daughter, Aislinn. She had cancer and toughed it out, getting chemical treatments and willing herself to live. It was so hard. But we had such wonderful times together. We experienced a beautiful closeness. The following two years were engulfed in Red Bulls. After having started drinking them to get myself through her life celebration, I had a serious addiction. Quit them October 20th, 2022. Then another six months, three in Fernandina and three in Costa Rica.
Costa Rica has saved me from myself. The air here is clean. You can feel the health as you inhale. I’ve just been quietly passing my days, playing with my kids here, swimming or Cross Fitting. I feel like a different person.
I dread going home. I look forward to seeing and being with friends. But I cringe at the thought of amped up tourists and new-to-the-island Yankees. It’s a prejudice.
A long time renter has moved out and that has left a void.
But I have some over-the-top neighbors that helped me tremendously. They let me wander around and be crazy. Reaching out to them. Making a nuisance of myself.
Trying not to become a recluse.
My family is shredded.
But I have a plan. I had hit a bottom when I arrived here January 1, 2023. I am going to adapt once again. I am an artist and I have been painting and woodworking. I have to do something to flee from any and all negativity. I want to be the best person that I can be.
It’s a tough road to navigate. But I am up to it.
I was told that my blog is shitty. Well, what do you expect from the daughter of a plumber. The first woman to hold a master’s plumbing license in the State of Florida. Whose mother owned the largest non union mechanical contracting company in Jacksonville. It’s only natural that someone would think it is shitty. (This is my current identity crisis, scream.)
It really bothered me.
Continue reading 66 – Meaningless Opinions
My so called sister is full of shit –
I called her yesterday to discuss yet another sister who has showed up on our 23 and Me Ancestry. I don’t know why she would find it a hard to believe that this is our sister. Joan Ariel. DNA does not lie.
Continue reading 66 – Thoughts on Bull Shit
This is my spot. It’s probably the last time I will get to stand here. To be on the beach enjoying the sunset. Here where I have fished for forty years. The island has been overrun by people who love the view, but are not beach people
God Bless them – each and every one.
Love is all there is.
Two beautiful men.
Fish Eye Farm 