Page One

Thinking, thinking, thinking, spilling my brain. Communication is super slack. Showing up for a group picture. Everyone else is wearing black and I have on a brightly colored flower shirt. Not again. What? Why is it always like this? Like what?

Why don’t I do something with this blog? Can’t I stop and fix that heading? Those letters aren’t right. Who cares? Is that my biggest problem? And what about that “cloud” over there? How do I change that? And I really should re-do the image. But you know I’m not about image.

I’m starting over. 100 percent over. OK OK. Continue reading “Page One”

Step 3

Habits

I have habits

good and bad

I want to talk.

You must use the phone.

That is what they told me.

 So I did.

 I talked in the morning,

on the phone.

I talked in the evenings.

I talked on black phones,

blue phones,

square phones,

big car phones,

small car phones,

and cell phones.

 I talked in the mall, on the toilet, quietly.

 I talked to friends, neighbors, teachers, family, community, CPA’s, lawyers and my husband.

 Now there is no one to talk to,

but God.

It’s a good thing,

I’ve got that habit.

Hands praying

Step Three

Step 2

Crazy, insane repeating the same thing over and again feeling terrible ~ wanting things to be different, but staying stuck in a life that has nothing but misery. Do you create your own life or are you just a victim of circumstances. Insanity is contagious, but so is healthy mannerisms.

Statistics of Insanity in The United States (1860)

domestic troubles and griefs religious anxiety mental anxiety financial reverses fear and fright nostalgia vicious habits and indulgences loss of sleep spiritualism over-exertion old age unclassified physical causes, as far back as 1886=you drank yesterday and you drink today but you think you have the flu you live with a man who beats you and you go back to him you smoke your stuff drink your laudanum and wonder why you’re broke you do coke and wonder why all of those creeps are hanging around you try to keep up with the Joneses and can’t sleep at night because you can’t pay your bills and so you’re sick so you go to the doctor who gives you pills that have side effects and you end up having a job to pay all of your doctor bills and when you walk into the local~market above you’re expected to say that you are having a great day.

What the f*%k?

There is a way out.

Step Two