At one time, my life was train wreck. It was hard for me to recognize it. I know that sounds impossible. How can one not notice a thing like that?
I spent all of my time blaming others and being a victim. I cultivated that garden, until I couldn’t hold the hoe any longer.
I collapsed, gave up, gave in and from then on my life got better.
Self-will is a killer.
This is my fourth set, of ten portraits. I started this photos series to help me get through my last days here in Florida. I will be going back to Costa Rica soon. I still have work ~ tying up loose ends, and then I will be CR bound. I can’t wait really. I try not to let myself feel the enthusiasm. I try to be here when I’m here, and not even think about there.
I went to a party last night at Tiger Point Marina on Amelia Island. What a scenic spot on the planet. The setting was perfect. The band and the people would have made great subjects. I took my camera, but wasn’t feeling it. I was reminded of just how much I don’t know about photography. There was a professional there and I got to ask questions. When I woke up this morning I knew I should have asked more.
I chit chatted ~ which in a previous post, I mentioned I have a hard time doing. But I was in my element there. I’ve been on the island for a long time. I know it’s history. I’m bound to the island.
~ Everybody let’s party party – Everybody let’s party party~
When I look at this series of photos, I know that it’s sharing a moment. I also know that each person has a story. I never go into great length about anything in my posts. I want to share photos more than words.
But I will tell you, that these last days here with my family, are not easy. Nothing is ever easy with my family.
In 1958, my family lived on Carder Street, in a nondescript brick home in nondescript neighborhood. I would stand in the front yard, screaming ((JANE)). Sometimes she came out and sometimes she didn’t. I have no idea what she looked like. I can’t remember her at all. I can only remember the screaming and her mother telling me to stop doing that.
I wish I had my camera back then. My life would have been different. I would have been better.
Beautiful people ~ I see.
Rooster and I are back at home; our place in the woods, that we call Camp Tobacco. It’s a homestead, that I share with my family. I’ve tried to create a hui. A hui, is a bond in a family, that benefits its financial interests. I’m side stepping here, but this post is about family. I learned about hui~from my mother. Also, from reading the Michener novel Hawaii. It is the best book I’ve ever read in my life.
On the last leg of our Southeast Roadtrip, we stopped in Canton, GA and visited friends from Costa Rica. They are the owners of the Mono Congo, my favorite place in the country. When I first met Justin and Kym, they must have been all of thirty. They had two beautiful boys. They have always been a special family to be around. I enjoy watching Justin caring for and playing with his boys, which are now four. They are his OATS; Adrian, Oakley, Tristen and Shea. They didn’t plan that~
Sweet!
Two Years Old
Little Boys Are Natural Daredevils
Oakley
Mom
This is Adrian
While waiting on dinner, we got to sit around and chat. Check out the toys.
The next morning we went hiking at the beginning of the Appalachian Trail. I’ve wanted to be in this spot since I was seventeen. I guess that makes it bucket list.
There are 472 steps, climbing to the top of the falls.
Then the hike was over and we had to say good-bye to the Happy Daddy and his beautiful family.
I am so blessed in my life today. On our trip, we visited three very different families and then returned to ours. In my life, I have benefited from my mother’s concept of hui. I don’t take it for granted. I would like to pass that on. Family is important and at its best, can care for one another in a healthy way. I put my best foot forward and place my feet by those that have what I want; like those that I visited, Justin and Kym, Jimmy and Whitney, Connie and the Man.
I want to thank all of my friends for the great trip, and the friends who followed along, you know who you are. And I want to express my thanks, for the help from my family, that made it possible.
Long Live the Happy Daddy~Long Live the Family Hui
Sorry – it was an award winning trip ~ LOL
I’ve stayed away from my blog, for a few days, because I’m all filled up with family. Have you ever been all filled up with family?
I’m full of Mama and Daddy, my oldest sister, my brother, my daughter and my oldest granddaughter is in there, and I never forget my grandmother. I feel like my grandmother’s life is my birthmark. She committed suicide, the year I was born. She was a war bride from Paris. The poor woman was lied to and brought from Paris to the backwoods of North Florida. Can you imagine?
My family is complicated, confusing and something, best not to think about.
This is why I stayed away; it’s all too dark and depressing. It’s crazy making.
I cannot say what I want to say.
AS THE PENDELUM SWINGS
I want to rescue
I have a fear of people
I have no chit-chat skills
I love too much
I have zero barriers from the world ~ then ~ I want to keep the world at bay.
Life becomes a swing
I can’t make chit-chat
I want to write a blog about blogging. I know this is probably all simple technology. But for me, it’s an ongoing process of, Que! What’s going on? How do I fix this. I fix one thing, and something else seems to go wrong. I think back when I was in school at the University of North Florida. I was forty and the professor was very anti-computers. I allowed myself to be influenced by that. But on the other hand, before I got out of school, I did purchase a PC and took an art class, Fractal Painting, which had no pre-requisites.
But then, not long after that, I was off to the jungle. Communication was limited. I had no computer, no phone, no hot water yet life was interesting to say the least. That was in 2001-2003. Four years ago, in 2007, I bought an Apple, and I am playing catch up, on the computer that is. I haven’t missed out on one thing in life.
This blog is a test for putting my picture with the text.
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The test failed! Darn it!
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Re-tested/successful/not quite sure how!/interesting/more will be revealed
It looks like I’m going to get to surf tomorrow, in the morning. I am really looking forward to it. But I have something I think is far more interesting to share about today.
This picture was taken by a Niaraguan woman that I know. I lent her my camera today to take to a children’s party. She has NEVER used a camera before in her life! Can you imagine? We take a lot for granted.
This picture is unedited. I think she did a good job. How about you?
When I was a kid, I had summertime friends, that were visiting Amelia Island the same as myself. One particular summer there was a family, from Atlanta staying three houses down. There was the mother, two sisters and a brother. They were probably there only two weeks at a time, but back then the days were long and two weeks seemed like forever.
None of these kids ever surfed with me but we did do things like, look for sea shells and spends hours chasing each other around on the beach. I always did love to run.
But right now, I am remembering one of the sisters telling me about casting a bottle out into the ocean. The idea was to write a message, put a contact address on it and see what happened. She had done this before and actually had someone write to her from someplace, that seemed like far away. I was told that my bottle could possibly drift to China.
I thought about that bottle that I never threw. I imagined it moving along the ocean floor, heading to some exotic destination. But, for some reason I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. What if someone did find the bottle? What if they wrote back? What would I say? I was paralyzed by the “what ifs”.
Writing this blog has that same feeling. But today I’m not paralyzed. I’m motivated. I want to inspire myself, if no one else.
My car is still not fixed and it looks like it will be Tuesday before I get to hit the waves.
Until then I will walk on the beach. Exercise and staying tranquillo are important.
In retrospect I see how some things don’t change. My life is locked in like a cartesian point. I am by the beach, not surfing today, but being with friends and hanging out on the beach, checking out the shells and the driftwood.
I’m tossing out my message. Who knows where it will land? Who cares?
The important thing is that I did it!
The suggested thought for the day, is ‘waiting’. That’s rather apropos, as I have been waiting to start this blog for about six months. There’s no time like the present, so here I am, Mama Cheri.
I am sitting in my small house in Costa Rica, waiting on our car to be fixed. The swell is here and there have been waves, all day long. Off shore winds are blowing and I am
missing it.
Oh well.
Continue reading Apropos