A Line in the Sand

I am forever drawing lines in the sand….

I am always starting over. But when I look back-not really. It’s just another new day. I have avoided writing for numerous reasons.

1. I am having fun.
2. I am also getting work done.
3. I have been thinking that blogging is narcissistic.
4. I am suspicious of the internet and the entire cyber world.
5. I don’t want to be negative.

1-I have been surfing. I’ve been getting my game on, after having been in the States and out of the water for two years.

2-Having been from my beloved casita (little house) for so long, I came home to termites and dust covered EVERYTHING. My household needs attention.

3-It just seems that my blogging now is not what it started out to be. And how could it. When I started writing I had no idea what a blog really was. I just signed up with Word Press and wa-la, I was published. I keep thinking I want to avoid the narcisstic trap that blogging can be. But how? Then while visiting about the blogging neighborhood, I found ESJAYBE, an academic writer. He posts social commentary. His writing is reminiscent of my days on campus. It’s the elevated thoughts of humanity. It is a social study, and that’s what I enjoy. It’s informative. And I need that down here in the jungle. His post, The Risks of Web Logging, has inspired me to keep my blog alive.

4-The more I am on my computer, and the more I learn; the novel 1984, with its’, Ministry of Truth, and historical revisionism looms as our future. Not to mention, that everything is zoomed in on marketing. I am funneled information, rather than being allowed to browse and discover new things….wrinkle products, face lifts, tummy fat burning fruits, blogs on Jesus… I had to work to veer off MY driven path, to find a new read. I don’t like being pigeon holed and I don’t like being told what to do.—-“thought crimes” —-I glance at posts about how to write a blog and they said that people like lists…curiously, there you have it.

5-Also, I don’t want to be negative. Who wants to read anything negative. Obviously a lot of people, if my past posts are any example. Any sign of trouble and my numbers jump from my average to five hundred a day. And people wonder why the news media concentrates, on the troubled, down side of life. ~ Since I’ve been here I’ve seen four bodies laid out on the ground – three on pavement and one in a ditch. The first one was the worst I’ve ever seen here in Central America. And I’ve seen plenty. The hired transportation, that I was in, was stalled right beside the body. It laid, crumpled as a rag doll, the bare meat of the torn off leg staring at me. I had my camera. I thought, Andy Warhol would definitely shoot this. What kind of artist am I? But I couldn’t. I had too much respect for the man. He was so twisted, I later named him Gumby, after becoming so familiar with his image in my head.—–Thinking – one second, he was someone on a scooter, with people who cared, going somewhere; and the next, a heap of flesh on the edge of the road, surrounded by a crowd. People who were close, but kept their distance. Cell phones in hand. Maybe calling his family…..ugh

Then there was the young man who somehow ended up under the front of a car. His moto unable to follow him. He too died.

The last two were possible survivors. One I know was alive, because I looked into his eyes, as we weaved through the wreckage, passing the feet of the other man on my right, by a narrow margin. I made the sign of the cross and involuntarily held my breath. I haven’t thought much about the one I didn’t look at, but I do wonder what happened to the otherwise strong and healthy, young man who was stiff on his back, splayed out and helpless. I hope he’s OK.

I guess that’s negative stuff. Oh well – sorry. Now it will be out of my head, until the next one. I pray that it’s not me.

Drive safe and have a good day.