Change and Elevate

I am on the other side of a rough 4 1/2 years. Two of those years were spent with my daughter, Aislinn. She had cancer and toughed it out, getting chemical treatments and willing herself to live. It was so hard. But we had such wonderful times together. We experienced a beautiful closeness. The following two years were engulfed in Red Bulls. After having started drinking them to get myself through her life celebration, I had a serious addiction. Quit them October 20th, 2022. Then another six months, three in Fernandina and three in Costa Rica.

Costa Rica has saved me from myself. The air here is clean. You can feel the health as you inhale. I’ve just been quietly passing my days, playing with my kids here, swimming or Cross Fitting. I feel like a different person.

I dread going home. I look forward to seeing and being with friends. But I cringe at the thought of amped up tourists and new-to-the-island Yankees. It’s a prejudice.

A long time renter has moved out and that has left a void.

But I have some over-the-top neighbors that helped me tremendously. They let me wander around and be crazy. Reaching out to them. Making a nuisance of myself.

Trying not to become a recluse.

My family is shredded.

But I have a plan. I had hit a bottom when I arrived here January 1, 2023. I am going to adapt once again. I am an artist and I have been painting and woodworking. I have to do something to flee from any and all negativity. I want to be the best person that I can be.

It’s a tough road to navigate. But I am up to it.

With Me Always


I am thinking of adventure – on the heels of my house work – on the heels of my daughter’s passing.

I haven’t been writing like I would have wanted to. I’ve had plenty to say and an over flow of thoughts and opinions, but prudence held me back. There’s much sensitivity out there; sadness and anger.

I don’t want to stir the pot.

I write to make sense of my life, which now includes my daughter’s death. It’s been hard. None of it seemed real. Then it seemed real and then it didn’t seem real.

So, I will work. I will clean my house. And I will plan my new adventure. My daughter will be with me always.