All of my photos. All, of the waves, I’ve ridden. The numerous adventures that I have been on. They seem distant and unreal.
But right now, I have more important things to do.
I am huddled up and hunkered down, with my daughter and my husband. We are on an adventure of sorts. All time, is a happening. Moments and events to be remembered.
From past experiences, I know, that what I want to return to, is no longer there. Dreams are eroded, repeatedly. But that has never stopped me from creating more.
When your glass castle, becomes concrete. Sit on it. It will soon turn to illusion.
We are born, to soon learn, that we are going to die.
I really don’t know about other people’s inner lives. Communication has a way of drifting. It’s ethereal. And yet, it’s can be heavy, as a tombstone. An albatross. A spirit of unrelenting fear. Or, it can be as equally uplifting as a hot air balloon. Raising you above, to elevate you, and present a wide angle view. A unique and exhilarating vista.
I have experienced both.
I am a part of humanity. I accept it. I surrender. I give in.
But when other people share with me their optical illusion of life, such as;
Don’t climb that tree, you will fall out and get hurt
Don’t ride that motorcycle, you will get killed
You don’t want to go to New York, it’s dangerous
Don’t go to Nicaragua
Don’t go to the downtown San Jose market, you can’t handle it
You can’t surf the waves in Costa Rica, they’re too big for you
Going to college is a waste of time and money
When are you going to find a man, to take care of you
I wouldn’t wear that
Dreads are nasty
Every one in that neighborhood is on drugs
Crossfit will give you a heart attack
It’s an ongoing barrage of words, intended to keep you safe.
Then there is other safe speak, that catches your ear;
If you can’t climb, keep trying. It will make you strong
Get to know your bike
When you walk in New York, don’t always be looking up
Nicaragua can be dangerous
If you miss the market in San Jose, you will miss an opportunity of experiencing the culture. But beware.
Charge girl, you might get worked, but you can do it!
There will be the perfect man for you, when the time is right
Wear what makes you feel good and what you are comfortable in, and you might consider dressing appropriately, at times
Dreads are badass
That neighborhood is the sweet spot
Crossfit will enhance your life – no matter who you are – how big or little you are – or what injuries you have had. Motion is lotion.
It goes on and on.
I personally enjoy my freedom. And how things are these days, are nothing new, just jacked up and different. You have to apply yourself, to be free. As the yogis sat for theirs. No one can live your life for you. It’s all about your personal choices. Jump out of that plane, or not. Put that parachute on, or not.
I feel good in knowing that when I do reach my expiration date, I will have lived a full life. One of adventure and fun and pain and struggles.
Yesterday, I was reading a thread on Facebook, in the group Fernandina Surfers. The post addressed the issues of lifeguarding, in the time of pandemic. It touched a nerve in me, that was yet, another one of those issues of aging.
The word that set me off in their dialogue was “enforcement”. I dislike enforcement, therefore, according to the dictionary, I am cynical.
I made the simple comment, of having mixed feelings, concerning lifeguards. Some, white haired, old man named Bert, called me a cynical old woman. I know lifeguards have their place, but that’s part of the problem. I don’t want a sixteen year old, with braces, telling me where and how to swim. They will look at me and my grey hair and think I shouldn’t go out deeper than my waist.
Reading the comments, on the thread, my mind reflected on vivid memories, of being a child and swimming, in the ocean. I would bend my knees and duck under the waves. I would feel it pass over me. I learned about the rhythm of the sea. I was taught about run outs, and how to deal with them. I swam far out beyond the breakers. I swam every day, all day long, only stopping for lunch, a rest, and then back out until the sun went down.
Fish Eye Farm 