Lost Soul

This is a journal. I’m not trying to sell anyone anything or trying to convince anyone of anything. I don’t have a focus, other than my life and my thoughts.

If I have to claim a point of view ~ It’s about becoming a better person and service to others.

Would that mean that doubt and negativity never exist?

IMG_0942 Friend or Foe

I was walking along the bank of the Jacksonville River, taking random pictures, when I saw this man. He was outstanding; the pink shirt, his dreads and the grey in his hair; a striking individual.

I asked him about taking his picture and I was taken back by his voice and diction. I was expecting a James Brownish type voice. His voice was clear and educated. It so, didn’t match his exterior; in my judgement.

I’m glad I took this picture that day.

It’s like writing this blog.

It hands me back my soul-when I think I’ve lost it.

Calling on a Mantra

I woke up this morning calling on a mantra, to heal my monkey mind. I miss Costa Rica. I miss my garden and the family that lives with me down there.

I miss the love.

I browsed through my photos and one of my Nicaraguan adventures caught my eye. I went as a photographer on a Christian mission trip into three areas; Manchester, Tipi Tapa and the La Chureca dump.(if you can, please read the link on La Chureca for the facts) I hid behind the camera at times to hide my breaking heart. It was an overwhelming experience.These two live at the dump. A shanty town has developed there, housing the families that have come there seeking work. They go through the waste and recycle what’s there. I don’t know the exact facts, but it looked like a lot of other country’s excesses, such as old computers, are sent here because of their danger to the environment. The workers are hard at it in the day, earning a few pennies to support their families.I elbowed my way around to make sure this woman, got these shoes. I wanted her and no one else to have them. As I watched her, throughout the day, she was quiet and reserved. In this picture, her eyes seem to tell a story~a book perhaps. Those discarded flip-flops became very important to me. A person needs shoes you know. And a little color and style never hurt anyone!

This little girl chased the bus as we were leaving. She seemed so happy!

I love this photo and the girl’s shirt. Her eyes are as bright and full of life, as her shirt is dingy. It’s a positive thought/that we can change the world with our imaginations.

I know that as I sit here, in my room, in a place that I find myself not wanting to be, that these people are still at the dump. They have little food. And what they do have is what is brought into them by missionaries~a lot of rice and beans.

I’m glad I have these pictures to reflect on. I don’t pity these people. That day, yes, I saw  poverty. And when I left, I thought, now I know what dirt poor really is. But I also saw happiness and love amongst these people. One that I don’t see around me here in the middle of all of this decadence. Maybe I need to open my eyes.

I’m going to use my imagination and look to the best of the best of what God has given me in my life and move on.

Why not~it’s the better choice.

I think my mantra worked.

Zero Chit-Chat Skills

I’ve stayed away from my blog, for a few days, because I’m all filled up with family. Have you ever been all filled up with family?

I’m full of Mama and Daddy, my oldest sister, my brother, my daughter and my oldest granddaughter is in there, and I never forget my grandmother. I feel like my grandmother’s life is my birthmark. She committed suicide, the year I was born. She was a war bride from Paris. The poor woman was lied to and brought from Paris to the backwoods of North Florida. Can you imagine?

My family is complicated, confusing and something, best not to think about.

This is why I stayed away; it’s all too dark and depressing. It’s crazy making.

I cannot say what I want to say.

AS THE PENDELUM SWINGS

I want to rescue

I have a fear of people

I have no chit-chat skills

I love too much

I sometimes have zero barriers from the world ~ then I want to keep the world at bay.

Life becomes a swing

I can’t make chit-chat

Shootin’ from the Hip

Between the saltwater and the sea strand

That is where you will find St. Armand‘s Circle on St. Armand Key, Florida. You will also find this Simon and Garfunkel statue, in the window of one of its shops, of which, there is 130.

I cherish Armand’s Circle. I first discovered this people watching haven, on my ’09 Florida Road Trip. I had to come back. The people, the clothes, the window shopping and the food is a magnet for me. Where else are you going to see a teenager wearing brown leather shorts, eating ice cream, wiling the time, lapsodasically, in decadent heaven. Unfortunately, I was unable to capture her image. I missed her, as well, as many others. It’s one fascinating person after another, in this circle. And you just walk and walk, around and round; looking in the windows and at each other.

When I started trying to get photographs, I could tell I was handicapped, with the camera at my face. It was too obvious  and crass. I’m brave, but I just couldn’t do it. After all, this is Florida, not Manhattan. So, I decided to shoot from the hip. I held my camera, as it hung from my shoulder and just aimed and shot. These are the random results of Armand’s celestial shoppers.

Pretty in Pink
Difficult to buy for ~
Everybody’s mother ~
I’ll take that one ~
Sweet azules padres ~
It’s all about style ~ mariposas viejas
Arm flaca ~
Bling~Bling
Shifting years of beauty ~
3 generations of “The Browns”
These girls need sunglasses!
Bliss and Happiness ~
Exiting ~

I had to tear myself away from the circle. As we were leaving, in the car, I snapped the Exiting ~ photo. You can’t see it in the photo, but the girl on the right looks like a doll. She has the finest features and is wearing pancake makeup. I have to go back! I always look forward to another day or night on the circle!

I guess that makes it bucket list.

John Ringley, the circus giant, created the circle. To me it is one of the Greatest Shows on Earth.

Between the saltwater and the sea strand

Tattle TALE

Deutsch: Rassel mit Schamanenkrone; Haida; Nor...

Word’s go rattle rattle rattle

People-go tattle tattle tattle

THERE’S A DEAD MAN HANGING IN THE TREE

HE’S LOOKING AT YOU AND HE’S LOOKING AT ME

I SAY I’M GOOD

YOU SAY I’M NOT

THE ROAD SPINS BOTH WAYS

THE BLOOD BEGINS TO CLOT

There’s a broom in the corner

so give your floor a sweep

look into the mirror

wake up from your sleep

THERE’S A DEAD MAN HANGING IN THE TREE

A NOOSE ON EVERY NECK

The words rattle 

The people tattle