Did I hear you use the Lord’s name in vain? You son of a sheep dog.
Don’t you know, there are Sisters of the Square Chairs present.
Their newly Virginized ears are scorched, by your heathen language.
Yes, we were once dregs and sluts, but now we are of the non-denominational, New Order of the – No, Alcohol was not our Problem, Joy Club.
If you swear, in our presence, we will stop you by any means.
We have Big Books. They are very heavy, and these Spiritual Manuscripts, are our weapon of choice.
YOU can not read this book. You must be guided by an anointed one.
If you do not conform, you will be banished from the Holy Home Group.
But first you will be offered attempts at recovery through medication – we suggest – Dr. N.O. Vociferousness.
In the beginning, we used meditation, but in keeping up with the times, we felt the congregation, needed to be more in touch with the modern world.
So, go forth my child, with your Starbucks latte and control, I mean, heal the world.
And may the Power of the Twisted Serpents be upon you.
In The Name of _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ ~ Amen